I have always dreamed of a life where there would be flashlights, people yelling out my name..you know!? just down right famous! Now there is nothing wrong with that picture right? Well you have to understand the intentions behind that vision, I wanted to be famous for the wrong reasons. I thought being famous would make me feel better about myself  but it doesnt work like that! The work is definitely internal, no amount of fame, success or attention will make your self esteem go through the roof…the only thing that will go through the roof is your ego and we all know where this famous ego can take us!

Two years ago, a friend of mine asked me to be a part of a local fashion show. At first, I really did not like the idea but I did it anyway. I know there is something that you have always wanted to do but never dared to do and sometimes just the thought of it gets you uncomfortable! I believe that it why there are so many women that are taking Pole Dancing classes. Let’s face it, it really cool to dance around the pole and work that sexy goddess attitude that we all have access to!

Walking on a runway has always been a little secret fantasy! So I get to a store to try on the clothes for the show and one of the managers tells me that I should be a plus size model in an agency! Haha! Good one lady! She managed to convince me to contact them and two weeks later I am modeling for SPECS modeling agency, a few months after that I am on tv walking on a runway for the show La Collection (the french version of Project Runway) and a year later I am the only plus size model at the Montreal Fashion Week walking for Cluc Couture…let me tell you dreams do come true!

Now when I sum up the events, it feels that it happened very easily and quickly, well it didn’t. Being hired in a modeling agency is not the only thing that guarantees work, YOU have to make the effort, YOU have to give it your best and YOU have to find a way to leave a memorable aura when you leave the room after the casting! Sometimes we look and criticize others for our lack of drive or achievements but the change really comes from within.

Last year when I envisioned my pretty self on the runway I was not hung up on the when and how, I just knew that I wanted to be on A runway and I walked my way to it. Every life experience led me to this day and that is the beauty of it!

Being backstage was actually a funny process because the beauty team kept on taking the other models to get their hair and make-up done like I am not a model! Ha!. So I go up to a ‘hair girl’ and ask if she’s doing the hair for Cluc Couture she starts explaining things to me like I’m a reporter! Then I realized that the beauty team did not get  that there is a plus size model that is walking on the runway, if i had self esteem issues, it would have been a ruff period. Let me explain as if you are living the moment with me…….

It’s time to get ready,my dresser helps me and i start hyperventilating! Oh nooo am I really doing this?! What if I fall?! I never wear heels!!! Ok ..I really need to calm down…I am waiting for my signal…all of a sudden I hear hear ‘Gerardine!! Go’ and I walk out…..Its foggy with all the lights and I hear ‘wow’ and other whispers….lol so that means that when I watch a show and I say something the model hears mee!! hhhaaa scary! I try to concentrate  but my brain is not really cooperating….ooh thats it!? I’m off the runway….it really goes by fast! It’s like a dream, almost like a ‘out of body’ experience…. I still have a second appearance to make it ‘better’ this time…..I am shaking so much that I cant take of my clothes….thank God for my lovely dresser! Ok my turn again!! ! I am ready this time annnd…again with the ‘frozen’ mind  the fog and the whisper! lol….I realized that i did not manage to change anything in my second appearance! Oh well…..its over!

What did I learn?| Well, first, modeling is a JOB! I am definitely going to practice to find my trademark ‘a la’  Tyra Banks! lol…because it is surely not my last runway appearance! Who do you choose to be on the runway!? That is the question! You need to leave a lasting impression……from the comments I hear I think I managed to do just that but you know how we human beings get….we want more! Next time I will…..oh forget it…next time will be as perfect as this time!

I AM the  little girl/boy that dreams of………..(you fill in the blank)….breathe in and……..GO FOR IT!!!!

Love Always!

Organik D’va